Completely and Irrevocably Broken
by SorryZurie
Summary: Leah was Christian's best friend when they met as teens, she fell in love and he broke her heart. Years later after they reconnect, Leah discovers the same actions that broke her heart are the same actions he lives by. Can Leah get over his life style to save their friendship or will his way of life keep her broken forever? Rated M for strong langauge and some graphic scenes.
1. Chapter 1

A cold sweat ran down Leah's neck as she finally woke from the frantic dream that consumed her during the night. "Leah you were dreaming again." Her therapist spoke out to her.

Sighing she pushed herself up from the medical bed she'd been forced to sleep on for the past three weeks. "I know." She grabbed the glass of room temperature water and drank from it until her nerves were back to normal. Setting it down, she wiped the back of her neck with her hand then ran her hands along the sheets of the bed.

This was a daily recurrence for the two of them. Wake up, discuss the dream, analyze her mental health, and then have breakfast. "What did you dream of this time?" He asked while retrieving a pen and pad from his leather shoulder bag. He sat down in a chair next to the bed and waited for her to begin. Dr. Philips was a man of pattern, he wore the same color shirt every day. His pants were always neatly pressed and his hair meticulously gelled and combed back. Leah on the other hand was very sporadic at times. No matter how hard she tried to have some sense of sequential habit, things always fell out of place and it always left her feeling flustered.

Gripping the edge of the bed with her fingers, Leah focused on remembering the events of the dream. But they were out of order, she couldn't remember what happened first. She couldn't remember what forced her feel uneasy. "I think at some point I was hiking," she started slowly. "It seemed like I was enjoying it, but then the scene changed. Or maybe it didn't, maybe it all just kind of blended together. I do remember falling. Or was it jumping—it could have been leaping. I'm not really sure. But I didn't enjoy it."

Dr. Philips began to write. Whenever he wrote something down the room would fall completely silent. Leah took this time to notice if anything had been moved out of place. At the beginning of their time together he'd told her that ever so often he would move an item out of place. And that it would be up to her to spot the abnormality. This particular experiment would demonstrate to her the importance she held over things that were always the same. And each time he'd moved something she was never able to figure out what it was. "Leah, I think there's a great significance behind the sensation of falling. I believe that it's a representation of you having no control over your life."

"So what do you propose we do about that?" By this point she could feel herself getting aggravated. She didn't believe she needed a therapist to tell her just how messed up her live was at the moment. This had all been arranged by her mother. Suddenly a knock came to the door, it was her brother Axel. "What do you want?"

Axel was a twenty two year old college dropout. He had dropped out just a few months before graduation, coming to the sudden realization that college meant nothing. That it was all a scam and he wouldn't be a part of an institution that took pride and sucking the minds' of today's youth dry. That didn't go over too well with their parents, and now instead of traveling the world like he claimed he was meant to do. He spent his days lounging around his parent's house. "Mom said you have to cut the session short for the day, we've got company coming over in an hour." He closed the door right after he flipped his sister the bird.

Dr. Philips stared at the closed door in disbelief. "Charming, isn't he?" Leah spoke up.

Clearing his throat Dr. Philips tucked his pen and pad away back into his bag and stood up from the chair. "It's a shame we had to end the session early. I think we were really starting to get somewhere. In any regard we'll get back to work next Monday. Enjoy the weekend Ms. Foster."

"You too Mr. Philips." She watched him leave her bedroom before she began to detach the sensory pads from her temples and wrists. Changing into something a bit more relaxing she headed downstairs to the kitchen where her mother would most likely be. "Morning," Leah called out as she rounded the corner. But no one was there. Walking into the living room she found her mother and father drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

Her mother, Lucile, was a very prim and proper woman. There was never a day that her hair wasn't curled and her dresses weren't whimsical. Her father, James, on the other hand was a man of serious intentions. For him everything had to be straight as an arrow, there wasn't any time for second guessing. If he had something to do he would do it in the most logical way possible, no matter what the consequences were and who he managed to hurt in the process. "Sweetheart what are you still doing in your pajamas? Didn't Axel tell you we have company coming in an hour? Please go upstairs and change into something presentable." Her mother pointed in the direction of the stairs.

Leah sat down in her favorite chair with her feet dangling off the armrest. "Who's coming over?"

"A client of mine, and his family." Her father answered. "This is an important brunch for me so I need to you be on your Ps and Qs. You and your brother."

Leah smirked, "if you're afraid we're going to blow it for you then you might as well lock Axel up in his room. We all know he's the public failure of the family."

"Leah," her mother interjected. "Enough. Just go upstairs and get dressed. Please." With no objection Leah got up from her seat and headed back for her room. Each main bedroom had their own private bathrooms. She used hers to take a long hot shower. As the water ran over her skin and through her scalp she used the time to reflect on what she would do the minute she could move away for college. _Get a tattoo, dye my hair indigo blue, adopt a cat from the humane shelter. _Lately the list was getting longer and longer. She'd only really wanted a tattoo, but eventually she started to want to rebel in other ways. Finally done, she stepped out of the shower and glared in the mirror for a few minutes. Her shoulders were thin and her hips a bit wider than average. She hated how fragile her legs looked and how vacant her chest appeared. _Get a tattoo, dye my hair indigo blue, adopt a cat, get a boob job._ Wrapping herself in a towel she headed back into her room and then into her closet. While she was in the middle of picking out something to wear she faintly heard the sound of her mother's voice floating up the stairs.

"So nice to meet you all, please come in." Their company had made it. Leah let the towel drop to the floor and pulled a denim dress on from overhead. Ringing out her hair she wrapped it up into a top knot bun then headed downstairs where all the action seemed to be. "There she is—oh honey your hair is soaking wet."

Leah shrugged it off. "I'm fine." Holding out a hand she shook the mysterious woman's hand. "Hi I'm Leah it's nice to meet you."

"What a pretty name for such a pretty girl, please call me Cordelia." Leah made a mental note to never call her that, at first glance she could tell that she was the kind of woman who didn't want to admit her true age. Wearing things half the girls in her eleventh grade class would. It was embarrassing to look at. "And this is my son, Christian. Christian come here, please."

Moments later a boy about the same age as Leah entered the room. He wore a polo sweater with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of dark denim jeans. His hair was dark and his eyes were crystal blue. "Hi." He shook her hand quickly before tucking it back into the pocket of his jeans.

She smiled lightly. "Hello."

"Leah," her father suddenly began while clapping his hand down onto her shoulder. "Christian is seventeen years old. I'm sure you two have quite a bit in common. Why don't you go show him the boat? Do you like boats Christian?" Glancing outside the sky was grey and the wind was a bit faster than Leah would have liked.

Christian nodded his head sternly. "Yes sir, my father has several."

Leah listened to her father chuckle deeply. "I can see you're a man's man Christian."

Growing tired of being part of the perfect family moment Leah stepped out from underneath her father's grasp. "I don't think it's smart to sail today." She looked at her father and then at Christian. "I'll just give you a tour. Come on." As they headed outside to the trail that lead to the lake, Leah caught her brother smoking a joint in his old tree house.

Christian followed close behind her, "aren't you going to put shoes on?"

"Why?" She retorted a little sharper than intended. "So Christian, do you go by Chris or is it strictly Christian?" Stopping at the end of the trail just before the dock that would lead them to the boat, it began to sprinkle. Leah held her hands out allowing her skin to feel the cool tickling sensation of the water droplets hitting their surface.

"Strictly Christian." He answered.

Nodding her head in understanding, Leah continued to walk toward the boat and onto the dock. "So you're a bible thumper."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Christian didn't quite follow. "What—why would you say that?"

"You said you're strictly Christian." A few seconds later they both started to laugh a little. "Come on, I'll show you my favorite part of the boat. It's this little ding on front from when I rammed it into some rocks one night last summer, I was super wasted."

Staring at the newspaper I forced myself to come back from the memory. On the front page of the New York Times there was an article about how _the great Christian Grey _was in town for a conference that would potentially merge his business with Sony's. And how it would be the biggest merge of his life. "God, the things I'd do to have a one night stand with that man." Emily, my assistant, spoke out from behind me.

"Emily, remember where you are." I politely tried to explain to her. Even though I considered her to be a very close friend, she always seemed to forget that there was a specific time and place for everything.

Pouring me another cup of coffee she walked back around to the front of my desk. "Right, I'm sorry. It's just—he's so handsome. He is legitimately the ideal man. Rich, independent, and luscious."

Smirking at her, I stood up from my chair and walked over to my floor length windowed wall. The city skyline greeted me as it did every morning. "He's okay, but I still think he was cuter in his teens."

Emily smacked her lips. "Oh yeah, and how exactly would you know that?"

I turned my head half way and looked at her over my shoulder, "he was my best friend." I replied just before looking back outside. I listened to her cough in disbelief, it made me smile.

Rushing to my side, her eyes were wide and her mouth was ajar. "He was your best friend? Get out of here! And you two never—"

Her voice trailed and I knew exactly what she was referring to. "No, I wasn't his type." Suddenly the taste in my mouth turned sour, and I didn't particularly feel like discussing the subject any longer.

She scoffed at my answer. "Bullshit."

"He liked his women much older." Taking one more glimpse at his photo on the front page, I tossed the newspaper into the trash bin next to my desk. "I have a phone conference at eleven and then I'm calling off for the rest of the day. You're free to leave after as well." From the minute I read the article I knew what I'd be doing at one o'clock. I felt like paying an old friend a visit.

After the phone meeting was over I collected my trench coat and bag and headed out of my office. "So I hope you don't think you're going to get away with not telling me about him." Emily called after me as I walked past her.

Turning on the balls of my heels I grinned at her. "Emily, he's just another guy. There's nothing extraordinary about him." She rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"You can probably say that because you knew him during his awkward phase. The man on the front page of that newspaper looked far from awkward. You can't possibly tell me he's not attractive."

Leaning against the wall near the elevator I gave in. I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I didn't allow her to indulge in the subject for a bit. "Yes, he's an attractive man. But it's been years since we've last spoken to each other. For all I know he could be a complete ass." Checking the time on my watch I pressed the down button for the elevator. "I've got to get going. Lock up when you leave."

As the bell dinged Emily cleared her throat. "Drinks later tonight?"

"Possibly." I hollered over my ear while entering the elevator. Pressing for the lobby I waited for the doors to close and listened to the sound of my phone dial for my driver. "Wesley, pull the car around, I need to make a quick trip to the Hilton on 6th." Ten minutes later and we were driving into the Hilton's circle drive near the entrance. "Stay in the area Wesley, this shouldn't take long."

Walking into the hotel, I found my way to the main desk. "Hi there welcome to the Hilton. How may I be of service to you today?" The woman behind the desk was overly cheery, a clear sign that it was just a part of their necessary routine with customers. I smiled gingerly nevertheless.

I rested my hand on my forehead in mock embarrassment. "This is so humiliating, but I seem to have left my—birth control in Mr. Grey's room." I watched as her eyes momentarily grew wide before retracting to their normal composed resting position.

Flustered she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry but we have strict instructions from Mr. Grey as to not allow anyone within his suite. I'm sure he can return them to you at his early convenience. "

I held up a hand in surrender. "I understand you're just trying to do your job. Unfortunately, I'm headed out of the country in a matter of hours. I've already given him the key card back. I'm truly in a time crunch. His early convenience wouldn't exactly be mine, if you can understand."

She glanced down at her computer screen. "I'm truly sorry miss, but the entire staff were given very strict and specific orders." She wasn't giving up.

Laughing, I grabbed a Kleenex and wiped my eyes with it. "Oh gosh I've just realized how this must look to you. You probably think I'm some deranged woman trying to sneak into his suite. I'm actually Christian's significant other." I made sure to whisper the end of the sentence. "We like to keep our relationship highly private because of the press and attention he constantly receives. He's such a saint in that way, he doesn't want me to be put in harm's way. Paparazzi can be so intense." I could tell she was staying firm. I had to break out the heavy artillery. "Well this is extremely unnecessary. For years Christian and I have used the Hilton as our number one choice of stay. I suppose I'll just have to give him a call and let him know how you're _rejecting _me entry into our _shared_ suite." I whipped out my cell phone and began to dial Emily's number. "And perhaps once I'm done alerting him, I'll just have to alert your manager as well."

"Miss, that won't be necessary." She promptly retrieved a spare key card for the suite. "When you're done with the card you can just leave it in the suite. My apologies truly." Swiping the card from her hands I smiled, ended the call and put my sunglasses back on. I glanced down at the room number on the card. _Penthouse suite_. There was no button for the penthouse only a place to slide the card through. The elevator ride gave me a bit of time to think of what I would say upon our reunion. Glancing at my watch once more it was finally one o'clock. His meeting with Sony should have just ended. And knowing Christian he would need a moment to himself afterwards. That's where I would come in. When the elevator doors opened I walked into a suite where absolutely nothing was out of place. It was almost as if he had never checked in.

I found a spot on the white leather couch and waited for him to arrive. Twenties minutes later and the elevator doors opened once more. Christian stepped into the room, if he were stunned he knew how to hide it well. "Leah, how'd you get in here?"

I crossed my legs and spread my arms across the back of the couch. "I'm surprised you know that it's me. Hi Christian." I watched as he made his way over to the bar and poured himself a glass of Scotch. "How long have you known me for Christian, you know I have my ways of weaseling into places. Almost as well as you do."

He took a sip and turned to face me, leaning his body against the table and tapping his index finger along its edge. I knew that my being here had truly ruffled some of his feathers. "Okay, here's a better question. _What _are you doing here?"

"I saw that you were in town, I wanted to say hello." I grinned devilishly.

"I've been in town several times before and you've never done this." I didn't really know how to reply, it was one hundred percent true. All the other times he was in New York City I knew about it, but I never wanted to see him.

Trying not to let my frazzle show, I stood and subtracted the distance between us. "I don't know." I decided to answer truthfully. "I saw your picture in the New York Times and I just knew I had to come and see you. We had something truly special all those years back." I leaned closer to him, closer to his lips. "You were always there for me."

I let my hand trace his and slowly slide up his arm. "Leah—"

"And then you shattered my entire world." I stepped back from him to look him in those piercing blue eyes. "Completely and irrevocably shattered it." I took a few more steps away and turned to gaze out at the skyline.

I listened as he walked to the other side of the main room. "So that's why you're here. To talk about what happened."

"No," I interjected. Containing the tears I whirled around to look at him. "I just—came to say hi." Placing the key card down on the side table to my left I half walked half ran to the elevator.

I could hear Christian walking after me. "Leah, we're both adults. Can't we talk about it?"

"No." I pressed the down button and the elevator instantly opened its doors to me. "We can't talk about it. Just, forget I ever showed up here." I pressed for the lobby and then held the door close button down. Christian stood in front of the elevator with those same thick eyebrows from when we were just a couple of teens. And then the doors closed.


	2. Chapter 2

Upon re-entering the lobby I called for Wesley to bring the car around. "Leah," Christian's cold and calculating voice called out from somewhere behind me. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to hear him.

"Coming here was a big mistake." I told him while focusing on the revolving door, waiting for the moment that Wesley pulled in and I could escape from Christian's proximity. "Just leave me alone Christian."

His voice was closer now, he was right beside me. "You came to see me," he paused for a long moment. "Why can't we talk about this like adults? Leah-" I felt his warm rough hand wrapped around my arm.

"Don't!" I practically shouted while yanking free. Regaining my composure I cleared my throat of the lump that was forming. "Please, don't touch me." Finally I saw Wesley. Without saying another word I quickly made it outside and into the back of the car. Thankfully the windows were tinted and I could finally look Christian in the eyes. I could tell he was speechless and finally I began to cry. "Wesley, I'd like to go home."

He nodded in the rear view mirror and I let myself go completely. I hadn't cried like this in such a long time, it was such a foreign act for me and yet I knew it very well.

"If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?" Leah asked Christian while entwining dandelions into a makeshift crown. Since meeting two months ago they'd spent nearly every afternoon they possibly could together. Christian lived in the city which forced him to go to school in a different district than Leah, but that never stopped them.

As they sat out on the dock near Leah's family boat, Christian thought for a moment. Just like everything else in his life everything needed time for thought. Where with Leah it was all about living in the moment. It was what Christian liked most about her, she challenged him to be more care free. "I've always wanted to see the Stonehenge." He watched as Leah's face grew dull and confused. "Well at least let me explain why before you think it's boring." He smiled at her. "Even though they probably look like just a bunch of big boulders to you; it makes you wonder how they were stacked on each other. What kind of manpower and mental control it must have taken to erect it."

Leah burst into laughter. "Yeah I bet erecting something so huge must have taken a lot of manpower indeed."

Christian playfully pushed her. "What are we, fifth graders?" He tried to keep his laughter in but eventually he found himself laughing right along with her. Suddenly as he stared at her he felt his stomach tightening. He'd been meaning to talk to her about something, but each time he tried he seemed to lose his nerve. "Leah?"

Wiping the corners of her eyes and finally calming down, Leah gleamed at him. "Yeah Christian?"

Sucking in a deep breath of air, he stood up and began pacing in front of her. "I overheard your mother and my mother speaking on the phone. Your spring formal is coming up and I was just thinking it'd probably be the easiest if-I escorted you. That's only if you don't already have an escort. It's just I know that the venue is in the city and maybe-"

Watching him somewhat squirm in front of her, Leah stood up and took hold of his hand. "Christian, I'd be honored if you escorted me." As she stared into his blue eyes, she bit down on her lip. She'd been waiting for the perfect moment to tell him how she felt. How he seemed to give purpose to her life. Ever since they started hanging out, she no longer felt out of control. It was as if he was the tether holding her down. Keeping her sane and grounded. She loved him, without a doubt. But just because he wanted to escort her to a stupid school dance didn't mean he felt the same. "You're my best friend, I'd feel weird going with anyone else." They both smiled sweetly at each other. Letting go of his arm, she sat back down to finish her flower crown. "And just think how happy it'd make our mothers."

"Yeah." He simply replied before sitting back down and staring out at the lake.

Wesley drove me home and I decided to give myself a bit of time to reflect. Uncorking a bottle of wine I kicked my heels off and walked into the den. I dug my toes into the faux fur rug before sitting down on my couch. I stared between the empty wine glass in one hand and the full wine bottle in the other. "To hell with it." I placed the glass on the table and drank straight from the bottle. Strangely enough CNN always seemed to help me get my mind off things, so I clicked on the TV and began watching whatever it was they were broadcasting.

Three buzzes sounded from my cellphone in my pant pocket. It was Emily. "So boss lady, are we going out tonight or what?"

"I don't think tonight is good for me." I glanced down at the wine bottle still in my hand.

"Oh come on Leah, you almost never go out with me. We're long over do for a girl's night out. Pretty please with cherries and hundred dollar bills on top?" I smiled a bit. Maybe Emily calling was a sign. Maybe after what embarrassingly happened between Christian and me, I was supposed to spend the night out on the town with her.

Sighing a little, I sat the bottle down on my coffee table. "Alright, come to my house in an hour. We'll grab dinner and then head to J'adore?" We said our goodbyes and I pulled myself off the couch. Just as I was about to turn the TV off an announcement regarding Christian came on.

"Looks like Christian Grey has done it by securing the merge with Sony, which puts his business from a fortune four hundred to a fortune five hundred title. But with all that wealth-many are wondering whom he'll share it with?" An anchorwoman stated. "Personally he could share it with his mother for all I care; just as long as he manages the stocks-" I shut it off and headed for my closet. I felt like wearing something smart and sensual.

A full hour passed and I still couldn't decide on something to wear. Emily found the spare key and let herself in. "And of course you're not ready yet." Her heels tapped along the wood floors as she entered my closet. "Honestly Leah, you turned an entire bedroom into a closet, picking something out should be a cinch for you." I watched as she worked her way through row after row of dresses. "Here." She pulled out a navy blue Christophe Josse cocktail gown. "A pair of gold strappy heels and your hair in a messy bun, perfection indeed." I took her word for it and quickly changed into the dress and shoes.

She helped with my hair. "Emily, I'm a mess."

"Not for long, when I'm finished with your hair-" I gently grabbed her arm and waited for our eyes to connect through the mirror.

"No, I mean. My _life _is a mess. My personal life at least. I feel like I put on a good show at work and around clients. Like I've got it all together, but there's a part of me that has always been out of whack." An inkling of a smile crept around the corners of her mouth but never really appeared. "We can talk about it some more over dinner and drinks though." I forced a big smile. "Just make me look fuck worthy for later tonight."

She giggled and continued tweaking my hair into the perfect up do. Once we were all done we had Wesley drive us to our favorite restaurant, Duo. Two brothers ran it and they specialized in Mediterranean food. "I'll have the grilled chicken Panini and today's white wine."

"The same please." While we waited for our food and drinks to arrive we sat and ate a few bread rolls. "We've been here a thousand times and their bread just keeps getting better."

"Who are you telling?" She stuffed her mouth and grinned before chewing. "So," she began nearly finished. "What's this about you not having it together?" Even though I knew the conversation was coming I would have much rather we had it a few glasses of wine in.

I took a sip from my glass of water. "For most of my childhood, I spent a lot of time with therapists and psychiatrists. My mother thought I was depressed, but I guess I was just-lost. And then I met him and things got better. Earlier today when we were talking about Christian Grey, it was a lot more to it than him just being my best friend. I was actually in love with him." She didn't say anything, her mouth didn't drop in disbelief, and she let me continue. "When I finally was ready to tell him how I felt, things took a turn for the worst."

"What happened?"

"I'd rather not get into it too much, but I was crushed. And I never really forgave him, I don't think I actually can." I took another sip of water. "But after he hurt me, I kind of got my life together. I decided what I wanted to do and knew that no one else could help me achieve it. I knew that if I wanted to start my own PR Company I would have to put in a hell of a lot of sweat and determination." I paused for a moment, thinking back on what I did just hours earlier. "I visited him today and everything from my past, from when I loved him, came rushing back in."

Emily grabbed my hand in hers and squeezed tightly. "Oh Leah, I'm so sorry to hear that." I squeezed back. I loved having someone to confide in that didn't require a signature or a sterile white room. "Boys, guys, _men _can be total jerks. But ever so often someone gets lucky enough to find a keeper. I have all the faith in the world that it will happen to you." I keep that in mind as our server approaches with our food. "Ugh. You guys have outdone yourselves yet again."

We at dinner chatting about who our dream client for the company would be. And when we were done we paid our bill and headed out to grab a taxi. "Emily, I'm glad I didn't cancel tonight."

"Me too, 'cause we look hot!" When we arrived to J'adore there was a pretty lengthy line outside. "Oh, James! You look amazing sweetie!" James was one of Emily's yoga buddies, but he was also the list holder for the club. I listened to people protest and scoff as we walked directly up to the door. "Any chance you'll give me a peek of the list tonight?" Emily tapped the clipboard with her index fingers.

James was a very flamboyant guy, his hair was platinum blonde and just below his bottom lip was a pair of snake bite piercings. And you could never catch him without a bit of mascara and eyeliner on. "Hon-ty, you will not _believe_ who we've got up in here tonight. Just thirty minutes ago Ashton and Mila were sent into the VIP lounge. Now hurry on in you're delaying my line." Emily wrapped her arm around mine and we headed inside together.

The bass was loud and struck through my body with massive force. It had been quite some time since I'd gone to an actual club. We immediately found a spot along the bar and waited for someone to take our orders. "Emily that guy all the way at the end of the bar keeps looking back at you. You should go introduce yourself."

Emily waggled her finger in the air. "No, no, no. That is not how the game of cat and mouse is played." Finally a bartender came over to us. "Two gins straight up and make one a double. And don't tell us which one it is!" She shouted after him as he turned away to prepare our drinks.

"Are you forgetting we still have to work tomorrow?" I questioned as I watched Emily bob her head to the beat of the song. "And what did you mean cat and mouse? Don't tell me you like to be chased?"

She laughed, "No, I'm the cat." Emily pointed down toward the man who was still staring at her. "And _he's _the mouse. I've got him right where I want him. We'll have our drinks, he'll feel obliged to come all the way down here and offer to buy us new ones. And _we _will go dance somewhere out in the crowd."

I stared at her confused. "What's the point of avoiding him?"

"Guys like that aren't boyfriend material, and judging by his greased back hair he's not even one night stand material. Also never go for the first guy who introduces himself to you. There's always a better catch." Listening to her talk about hook up practices seemed surreal to me, there was an entire part of life that I wasn't aware of. Several minutes passed as we drank our gins; somehow I managed to get the double. And just as Emily predicted the man from the end of the bar stood up and made his way over just as we finished. "Alright, time to go." She grabbed my hand and led me out onto the dance floor.

I wasn't particularly into the music, but just simply being out there was fun enough. "I can't believe you were right about that man back there!" I shouted, struggling to be heard over the music. Emily smiled at me before spinning around with her hands in the air. She was definitely a pro at this. For most of the night we danced, watched from a distance while a few more celebrities entered the VIP lounge, and drank until we were fairly intoxicated. No longer questioning the music I danced until my heart pounded through my chest along with the booming of the bass. It wasn't until around two in the morning when I found myself stumbling up the steps of my home. Wesley insisted on helping me inside, but I refused. Although after nearly falling into my hedges his offer seemed more and more appealing. Emily found her own way home with a guy that she met out on the dance floor at the last minute. "Ugh." I plummeted onto my bed fully clothed and entirely drunk.

Arriving at work the next day was the epitome of a challenge. The sirens of ambulances, horns of cars honking in the morning bumper to bumper traffic, it all weighed heavy on my head. Even with my darkest pair of sunglasses the glare from the over casted sunlight was too much for me to handle. Yet somehow I managed to make it inside the building and up to the twentieth floor to my office. "Morning sunshine." Emily's voice echoed through my head. Wincing from the pain of the skull scraping headache, I signaled for her to keep the volume down. "Wow, you look awful."

Sighing, I sauntered to my desk and slumped down into my seat. "I really don't see how you're so chipper. You had just as many drinks as I did." Emily shook a bottle of what I assumed were pills. My eyes were too heavy to look. "Drugs?"

"Strongest pain reliever you can buy." I listened as her heels clacked against the wood floor and into my personal office room. "Here, take two and you'll be fine for the rest of the day." I should have argued and protested, but my head was pounding out of control. I held my hand out for the pills. Swallowing them with the help of a bit of my caramel latte, I finally slid my sunglasses off. "Dim the lights. And cancel my first two web meetings. I need to sleep." Reclining in my chair I grabbed the pair of earplugs I usually kept in my desk drawer and prepared for a well anticipated nap.

I awoke to the muffled sound of my desk phone ringing. Before picking it up I checked the time on my cellphone and removed the earplugs. I'd managed to sleep for three hours. And thankfully most of my headache had surpassed. "Leah Foster."

"Leah, Christian Grey is on the other line. Should I transfer him over to your line or should I take a message?" I couldn't believe it. Sitting upright in my chair I straightened out my shirt and coughed a bit to clear my voice of its grogginess. Emily was looking over her shoulder at me, I could tell she was concerned.

"Transfer the call." The line between the two of us went dead for a moment as she transferred him. And then I heard his voice.

"Leah," I didn't know what to say. I stared at Emily who was staring right back. "Leah are you there? I can hear you breathing, are you going to say something?"

Finally coming back from the unexpected stun, I replied. "Um, give me a moment okay." I put him on hold and quickly ran over to the glass that separated me from Emily. Sliding the black satin curtains in place, I felt a little more comfortable. I didn't have to worry about Emily constantly and conspicuously glancing back over her shoulder. I ran back to my seat and took a few deep breaths before picking the receiver back up. "Okay, what is it?"

"I was hoping we could actually talk, like adults." Christian spoke very smoothly.

Tapping my nails against the desk I thought about it for a second. Could I actually talk to him about it? The only person I ever truly confided in about what happened was my therapist and a few appointments afterward I terminated our time together. "I've spent a lot of years _not _trying to talk about it or even think about it for that matter. In fact, I've tried to just block it out of my memory all together."

I listened to him sigh in frustration. "Then why did you break into my hotel room yesterday?" I fumbled for the right response, the truth was that I didn't have one. "I think if you just allowed me a chance to explain things from my perspective, you'd feel a lot better."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You think having me listen to an _excuse _for what you did will actually _help _me? You broke my heart Christian." I noticed my voice elevate. Taking a few more breaths I managed to control my anger. "You strung me along, made me believe I was special and that despite what all the psychiatrist said there was nothing wrong with me. And then one day you just-" I couldn't finish the sentence.

My voice just gave up, even though there were a million things I wanted to finally say to him. I couldn't verbally execute any of them. "It's a lot more complicated than that, Leah. If we could just sit down over lunch." Then suddenly something sparked within me, whether it was courage or stupidity it still sparked.

"Alright. How does tomorrow work for you?" I couldn't fully believe what I was saying.

"Today's my last day in the city, I fly back home later this evening."

"Okay." I checked my phone for the time once more, it was eleven. "We can have lunch at Bamboo Loft. I'll see you in an hour and thirty minutes." I didn't wait for him to agree or disagree or even say goodbye. I only listened to the sound of the phone receiver connect with its base.


End file.
